Not Iambic….Do Not Accept…
These tags I’ll pop, and boast in rhyming verse
that what I wear puts swagger in my gait;
though twenty shillings have I in my purse,
my self-esteem and manhood both inflate
when lofty furs I purchase for a cent.
Thy grandpa’s clothes are worthy salvage, though
they smell a trifle musty. Still, I spent
much less to dress myself from head to toe.
To save or not to save? The question’s moot.
I’ll never give my coin to high-street crooks.
These dusty shelves will yield their hidden loot
to those, like me, more frugal in their looks.
Like ancient coins washed up on distant shores,
I’ll find my treasures in these thrifty stores.
- Macklemore, “Thrift Shoppe”
*Crying with laughter*
ITS IN IAMBIC PENTAMETER. SWEET JESUS THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING.
THIS IS THE MOST BRILLIANT POSY I HAVE EVER SEEN.
Guys, that’s not only Iambic, that’s a fucking sonnet. *claps*
Grammatically correct for the period and a couple of references to Shakespeare’s actual works.
I’m sincerely impressed.
A helpful guide to the religions of Twitch Plays Pokemon.
(Not mine, credit goes to aseanman27 on Reddit)
(you might need to adjust your speaker/ headphones)
I MADE A PROMISE THAT I WOULD NEVER MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES I’VE GOT KNOWLEDGE TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD SO IT’S THE FUCKING SUGAR SCRUB CRAYON LIPSTICK BITCH BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL.
I BET YOU THOUGHT THAT PHOTO WAS JUST SOME FUCKING CHOCOLATE WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG MUTHAFUCKA THAT SHIT IS CHOCOLATE GANACHE AND IT IS WAY EASIER TO HANDLE THAN MELTED CHOCOLATE AND IT HAS ABOUT A BAJILLION USES
GET YOURSELF SOME GOOD ASS DARK OR SEMISWEET CHOCOLATE LIKE THE KIND YOU BAKE WITH OR GO GET SOME FANCY ASS CHUNKS FROM WHOLE FOODS JUST NO MILK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE ALL DARK BABY ABOUT 8-12 OZ OR ABOUT 2 CUPS OR 1 STANDARD BAG OF CHIPS HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU WANNA MEASURE IT JUST PUT IT IN A GODDAMN BOWL ALREADY
I HOPE YOU’RE READY BECAUSE THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET HEAVY. HEAVY WHIPPING CREAM THAT IS. GET ABOUT A CUP OF THAT THERE SWEET LIQUID OR 8 OZ AND HEAT IT WITH YOUR EYE LAZERS OR THE MICROWAVE I DON’T FUCKING CARE MAYBE YOU EVEN BUST OUT A SAUCEPAN JUST DON’T LET THAT SHIT BOIL YOU WANT IT PRETTY FUCKIN HOT THO
NOW POUR IT ONTO YOUR CHIPS AND START WHISKING. IF YOU DON’T HAVE A WHISK, JUST THROW THE BOWL AT A WALL A FEW TIMES BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY LIVE IN THE STONE AGE OR ARE A BROKE COLLEGE KID WHY ARE YOU MAKING GANACHE ANYWAY
AT FIRST IT’S GUNNA LOOK LIKE SOME WEIRD CHUNKY MILK AND YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO SPLASH IT ON THE COUNTER A BIT AND YOU’LL BE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRI YOUR INSTRUCTIONS ARE FUCKING SHIT BUT KEEP WHISKING AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITH SMOOTH VELVET GLORY GODDAMN JUST LOOK AT IT FLOW I NEED A MOMENT
OKAY SO NOW YOU HAVE THIS BOWL OF GOOP AND YOU’RE SAYING OKAY BRI NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THIS SHIT SLOW THE FUCK DOWN I’M GETTING THERE NOW THIS SHIT CAN BE USED FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING YOU CAN GLAZE CAKES WITH IT TO MAKE THEM GLOSSY AND FANCY
OR YOU CAN PIPE IT LIKE FROSTING TO MAKE ALL KINDS OF PRETTY BAKED GOODS
OR YOU CAN WHIP IT WITH A MIXER OR YOUR BIONIC ARMS TO MAKE A FROSTING-LIKE SUBSTANCE
YOU MAY THINK THAT’S ENOUGH BUT I’M NOT FUCKING FINISHED YET OKAY SO YOU JUST SIT TIGHT YOU CAN WARM IT UP AND POUR IT ON ICE CREAM FOR THE BEST SUNDAE YOU’VE EVER HAD
OKAY RAPID FIRE NOW YOU CAN TOSS POPCORN IN SOME FOR CHOCOLATE POPCORN OR YOU CAN DIP COOKIES OR CRACKERS OR BISCUITS IN IT TO MAKE THEM SEEM HELLA FANCY OR YOU CAN STIR A BIG OL’ GLOP OF IT INTO WARM MILK FOR THE BEST COCOA YOU’VE EVER TASTED
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST IT IS THE EASIEST AND MOST FUCKING DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE FONDUE YOU COULD EVER HOPE TO HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH HOLE
SO THERE YOU GO MOTHERFUCKERS NOT ONLY HOW TO MAKE GANACHE BUT HOW TO USE IT 1001 DIFFERENT WAYS NOW GO FORTH AND BE HAPPIER THAN A STOCK PHOTO WOMAN EATING CHOCOLATE CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS
- adenoidal: if someone’s voice is adenoidal, some of the sound seems to come through their nose
- appealing: an appealing look, voice etc shows that you want help, approval, or agreement
- breathy: with loud breathing noises
- brittle: if you speak in a brittle voice, you sound as if you are about to cry
- croaky: if someone’s voice sounds croaky, they speak in a low rough voice that sounds as if they have a sore throat
- dead: if someone’s eyes are dead, or if their voice is dead, they feel or show no emotion
- disembodied: a disembodied voice comes from someone who you cannot see
- flat: spoken in a voice that does not go up and down. This word is often used for describing the speech of people from a particular region.
- fruity: a fruity voice or laugh is deep and strong in a pleasant way
- grating: a grating voice, laugh, or sound is unpleasant and annoying
- gravelly: a gravelly voice sounds low and rough
- gruff: a gruff voice has a rough low sound
- guttural: a guttural sound is deep and made at the back of your throat
- high-pitched: a high-pitched voice or sound is very high
- hoarse: someone who is hoarse or has a hoarse voice speaks in a low rough voice, usually because their throat is sore
- honeyed: honeyed words or a honeyed voice sound very nice but you cannot trust the person who is speaking
- husky: a husky voice is deep and sounds hoarse (=as if you have a sore throat), often in an attractive way
- low adjective: a low voice or sound is quiet and difficult to hear
- low adverb: in a deep voice, or with a deep sound
- matter-of-fact: used about someone’s behaviour or voice
- modulated: a modulated voice is controlled and pleasant to listen to
- monotonous: a monotonous sound or voice is boring and unpleasant because it does not change in loudness or become higher or lower
- nasal: someone with a nasal voice sounds as if they are speaking through their nose
- orotund: an orotund voice is loud and clear
- penetrating: a penetrating voice or sound is so high or loud that it makes you slightly uncomfortable
- plummy: a plummy voice or way of speaking is considered to be typical of an English person of a high social class. This word shows that you dislike people who speak like this.
- quietly: in a quiet voice
- raucous: a raucous voice or noise is loud and sounds rough
- ringing: a ringing sound or voice is very loud and clear
- rough: a rough voice is not soft and is unpleasant to listen to
- shrill: a shrill noise or voice is very loud, high, and unpleasant
- silvery: a silvery voice or sound is clear, light, and pleasant
- singsong: if you speak in a singsong voice, your voice rises and falls in a musical way
- small: a small voice or sound is quiet
- smoky: a smoky voice or smoky eyes are sexually attractive in a slightly mysterious way
- softly spoken: someone who is softly spoken has a quiet gentle voice
- sotto voce adjective, adverb: in a very quiet voice
- stentorian: a stentorian voice sounds very loud and severe
- strangled: a strangled sound is one that someone stops before they finish making it
- strangulated: strangled
- strident: a strident voice or sound is loud and unpleasant
- taut: used about something such as a voice or expression that shows someone is nervous or angry
- thick: if your voice is thick with an emotion, it sounds less clear than usual because of the emotion
- thickly: with a low voice that comes mostly from your throat
- thin: a thin voice or sound is high and unpleasant to listen to
- throaty: a throaty sound is low and seems to come from deep in your throat
- tight: a tight voice or expression shows that you are nervous or annoyed
- toneless: a toneless voice does not express any emotion
- tremulous: if something such as your voice or smile is tremulous, it is not steady, for example because you are afraid or excited
- wheezy: a wheezy noise sounds as if it is made by someone who has difficulty breathing
- wobbly: if your voice is wobbly, it goes up and down, usually because you are frightened, not confident, or are going to cry
HOLY FUCK THERE ARE CHILDREN ON HERE!
I need recipes like now.
Peanut Butter & Jelly Cups
Chocolate Mugs and Vegan Hot Chocolate
The chocolate skulls used to be on Etsy and are no longer available.
Triple Chocolate Mousse Cake
Chocolate Raspberry Pistachio Tartlets
Chocolate Pancake Cake
The chocolates are made in these two ice cube trays.
Chocolate-Covered Brownie Ice Cream Sandwich
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